That 's what my husband seems to think. Or maybe he's like me... just waiting for something to go 'dread'-fully wrong. I wonder if I'll wake up one day and realize that I've been letting OCD creep back into my life one little decision at a time.
Friday I was cold and so was wearing this fluffy robe over my clothes. I was picking up some paper garbage to put in the garbage can and just laid them on the kitchen table instead. Later, I added a banana peel and something else to this little pile. I forgot about it until Bruce came home and he put it in the garbage for me. I apologized for leaving it there and he made some comment about how I have a problem using a garbage can!
Yes, I DID, once, long long ago, over a year ago, have this problem. Three or 4 years ago I refused to put anything in a garbage can, just leaving it in piles on the table for Bruce to do it. I believed that dropping something into a garbage can would send contaminated air back up to hit me. I could use open ones where I would stand back and just toss something in it. After awhile I could put stuff in the garbage can but then have to wash my hands right afterwards. Then, I worked on that problem. It is not a problem anyore. see: http://myjourneythruocd.blogspot.ca/2011/06/attack-of-killer-garbage-can.html
Back to Friday. I was just being lazy and didn't want to have my robe touch the garbage can. It was clean garbage I left on the table. So the first thing that jumps into his head is how things were 4 years ago. Thanks!
Will I always be just one step from full-blown OCD? I hope i can be lazy once in a while and not have this mean I am going backwards, or am i kidding myself? Vigilence 24/7 for the rest of my life sounds like a prison sentence.
I read a quote today on Lolly's blog: Lolly's hope. It says:
Stop being afraid of what could go wrong,
and focus on what could go right!
I needed that today! Thanks Lolly!
Last week was a busy week. I am finished with my anxiety group (this could be where some of my concern is coming from as now I have no 'professional' help if I need it. ) and am in a healthy living program. I found out that this is a 3 days a week commitment for 4 months to go 2ce a week to the exercise class at the local pool and once a week to a fitness class. They are monitoring all sorts of stuff from my weight to how many push-ups i can do in a row (easy- 0 ). From a once a week meeting to 3 exercise classes a week that tire me out is a very big change in routine. I keep telling myself that last week was the first week and I will get used to it one day at a time.