Saturday, March 03, 2012

Life's Pretty Calm

I haven't blogged in over 2 weeks now.  I've been reading lots.  I had 4 interlibrary loans that all need to be finished between Feb. and the end of March.  The second one was Full Catastrophe Living that I  heard about on someone else's blog (or maybe goodreads acct.).  It was long and slow reading.  Very interesting tho.  It was all about meditation in a mindful way.  He described different kinds of meditations, gave  lots of info re why mindful meditation works.  I wrote pages of notes. 

Devil in the Details is a memoir of a Jewish teen's battle with scrupulosity.  It was an ok read.  Lots about the strange things she did, not so much on how she overcame it.  She mentioned therapy but not in any detail.  It seemed to disappear when she went away to college. 

As for OCD, things are going rather well.  I have to decide lots whether to give in or not and i keep reminding myself of what Dr. Tompkins said in his book about recovery- to keep doing erp's to keep in practice.  I don't necessarily look for weird things to touch. I just keep on top of what i already can do so i don't go backwards too much.  It's still in my head( getting some urges) but my outward life doesn't show much ocd anymore. I sometimes give in on the little things that don't matter much but try not to on the big things that would cause a lot of trouble if I gave in.  Even the urges aren't very strong.  Still won't touch the outside garbage cans without washing up tho !  :)

Wed. night we went to the library. Bruce went to pick up my meds while Katrina and I were hunting for books for her.  When Bruce came back and we left he told us to go thru their back door.  I hadn't used that door for a year or more due to some ocd reason i can't remember.  All I recall is that the door handles were contaminated some way.  Bruce didn't know this, so he used the door and expected me to also.  He opened the door for me, so i didn't have to touch it at the time.  But he was still 'unclean'.  I don't think he washed his hands when he got home so i didn't want to touch him.  I knew I should, but was having a hard time.  I know he touched the tv remote but i purposely didn't want to know what else he was touching.  I waited til after 11 at night, just when he decided to go to bed.  Finally i got up my nerve and sat down beside him.  Cuddling on the couch was the funnest ERP I've done so far, better than hanging out with a mop, that's for sure!!   The next night i managed to finally touch the tv remote too.  Usually I'm much faster at saying no.  This was an ocd deal stuck in my head for a long time now so it was harder to get rid of.  I'm glad I did.  Now the whole library is at my disposal.

The best thing I have noticed, is that I don't have any general anxiety hanging around me all day! Yeah!


  1. Sounds like things are going much better. Very nice to hear. :)

  2. So glad you're doing well and don't have the general anxiety hanging around. Congrats for doing the ERP with your husband. Yep, that was probably more fun than hanging out with the mop, or the washing machine too!

    Sounds like some good reading going on. Is Full Catastrophe the book by Jon Kabat-Zinn? I'm slowly reading his book "Wherever you go, there you are." It's all about mindfulness, and it's very helpful. I can't seem to read it straight through. I'll read some, think about and work on some of what I've learned, then go back to it. I read others things in the meantime.

    I've been working on mindfulness meditation for 10 minutes at a time. It really helps me get quiet (in my mind) and focus, at least for the short-term. I hope the more I do it and learn better how to practice it, it will help me throughout my day.

    So glad to hear from you again! I miss your posts!

  3. I love how you haven't blogged because you've been reading. I went through a heavy reading time last week or two and didn't blog as much as I read. Now it looks like the tables have turned for me and I'm blogging more than reading.

    It's so hard to find balance in this OCD life :-)

  4. Very Good Source for info on OCD

  5. Wow Karin, it sounds like you are doing awesome. I'm so glad your general anxiety has gotten better. That is something that I've experienced as well (most of the time, but not always). Don't think I could touch outside garbage cans without washing either. I mean, c'mon, there are limits! ha ha It's good too that you realize you have to stick with the exposures. I think that's the only way we can keep moving forward. I'm really happy for you and your success!

  6. You mean that general anxiety can go away? That's great! And really encouraging for me.
    I don't like to seek out exposures, either; they seem to come up often enough anyway.
    The Devil in the Details book didn't explain much about how she got over it. I think I concluded that for some reason, she was lucky enough to outgrow it.
    I hope things keep going well for you!

  7. Karin, your story is so great! I'm always so amazed when I read stories like this of fellow OCD sufferers. It gives me hope! I'm still having a very hard time keeping my negative thoughts at bay, and not giving in to my urges. But when I read other women who are doing it, it makes me think - hey! I can do this too. So thank you. If anyone here is interested, has some great information. Just thank you again, and I hope things continue to go well for you!