Saturday, March 31, 2012

The Hunger Games & Karin's Head's Game

Bruce and I saw the Hunger Games tonight.  I've been waiting a long time to see that movie.  And it didn't disappoint.  In some ways it was even better than the book.  It kept close to the book, was very intense but not too gory.  And it must have taken some really detailed choreography to make a movie where 24 teens fight to the death look real and at the same time keep the blood and guts part down to a bare minimum.  The actors and actresses did a fantastic job.  The only problem with it is that unlike Harry Potter, where seeing the movie increases my desire to reread the books, and reading the books makes me want to see the movies again, the Hunger Games violence-ness doesn't make me eager to re-experience it. 

While watching the movie tonight it suddenly hit me:  we're going to look at a pair of dogs tomorrow afternoon that we're thinking of keeping.  And up til then I've been excited, thinking of names, finding a place for them to do what dogs do, that I don't want them doing in my house and whether to get them a doggie bed or a cage.  The downside  is that we found out today that the matted fur that I was told came from the dog romping in a swamp (dirty but not contaminated) was in fact dog feces all over her body, according to the vet.  That's when OCD hit and I've been trying to figure out how to deal with it.  Can we bathe the dogs before they come to our house?  Can I just think that the vet shaving her down is clean enough?  What about the other dog?

 Then i got a call from a mobile vet that lives close to our house out in the country.  He does regular vet services at the pet's house.  And no, I can't just bring the pet to his house instead.  Bummer.  Cause memories came back about how I really liked that the chemicals and other stuff  (samples of poop ) was at the vet's place and I could just leave.  I didn't think of it as ocd, just my preferences as i didn't have an ocd diagnosis then.  But on the positive side, not bringing the dog to a vet means I don't have to be where other sick dogs are and possibly infect my dog( Rare occurence but it COULD happen. ) And with the rise in gas prices having the vet come HERE might be a good thing.

So, right in the middle of the movie, during a down time, it suddenly hits me that I'm going to get a pair of dogs that OCD will have a field day with and have a vet that OCD will have even more fun  with.  Not to mention that I will have to take care of these dogs, not just cuddle them.  Someone will have to walk them, bath them and all that stuff and that someone  will be me.  Do I really want to do this?  Should I give in to OCD and find  'cleaner' dogs and a 'safer' vet?  Or do I bite the bullet and kick OCD to the curb and focus on rescuing a really cute pair of golden retrievers???

Why do I do this to myself?  Can't i just keep my peaceful, finally calm life?  Am I nuts, wanting to stir up the pot?   And if it doesn't work out... but I don't return dogs just because I'm bored or tired of taking care of them. That's why it's been 5 years since our first dog, Holly, died and even tho I've missed her and wanted another dog, I knew I couldn't handle it. 

This is normal for me.  I want something and Bruce is kind of lukewarm.  Then after I've convinced him, I get cold feet.  Because I don't know EXACTLY how it will affect my life.  For real.  Not just in my imagination, where only good stuff happens.

After a few minutes of intense guilt ( I've got the whole family excited about my now STUPID idea), other thoughts get thru.  The ones that say, take it slow.  One step at a time. Just go look at the dogs.  I don't have to hug them or take them out for pizza.  See how it goes. 

And so my heart rate goes back to normal and i can return my attention to the movie once again.


  1. Karin,

    You did a great job with dealing with the thoughts and then refocusing on the movie.

    I can relate to your changing attitudes. I get excited about stuff, too, and then I start questioning my decisions and worry about the repercussions.

    I think changes are hard for people with OCD because they bring possible challenges and a lot of "what ifs."

    I don't think there will be a time when OCD doesn't come 'round, but you have built up so many skills to use and a real strength. I have no doubt that if you do decide to get the dogs, you will handle the challenges. I love golden retrievers!

  2. Ugh, I hate when OCD interrupts a fun time like going to the movies. Sounds like you did ok handling it though. You're right, just go look at them. It doesn't mean you have to do anything about it. It's funny, I've done the same thing. I will get others excited about something, and then when it comes down to it, I end up having second thoughts. Is that an OCD thing? I don't know.

  3. I also hate when OCD interrupts nice times and fun time. You did really well.

  4. Pets are such great "treatment" for OCD. Plus they're fun and loving. Good for you, and don't back down!!!

  5. I love how you were able to catch yourself and bring it back into the moment. Your OCD said you had to have an answer NOW about the dogs, but you wouldn't let it tell you what to do - and instead went back to enjoying the movie. Good job!!!! BTW - my dog is the best thing that ever happened to me.