Sunday, January 08, 2012

Humpf. It's just not leaving my mind.

 Still have ‘my foot is dirty’ thots in the back of my mind, even tho I’m sitting cross-legged on the couch and was doing that yesterday too.  It’s like my old thots from years ago that lodged there and just wouldn’t leave.  It takes a lot of energy to just ignore them.  Even while in bed.  I plan to wash the sheets today.  That should be easier than yesterday’s laundry because they are coming clean right off the bed… except my sheets which are now full of ‘foot contamination’.  Got to shower first tho, which should take care of above problem and hopefully there wont be any new problems that lodge permanently in the back of my brain.


Well I did it.  I took the ‘clean’ sheets off the beds without worrying if I touched the pillows/ blankets afterwards, put them in the machine, added detergent and more laundry from the laundry basket.  Then I wiped down the machines, didn’t wash the floor because nothing dropped on it (oh, wait, I did wipe the area where I had thrown the ppr towels from wiping the machine, and some extra spot wiping), washed my arms and hands, got some windex to wipe down the tap handles and threw the Kleenex away.  Washed hands again and ate a banana.  Am also wearing yesterday’s ‘dirty-pantleg’ pants trying not to worry about it.  Did think of not wearing them but wanted to work thru the residual dread feelings instead of just throwing the problem in the laundry.  Actually not having much dread right now at all. 

It’s after 11.  I got up just around lunchtime and I feel so tired already.  I have a headache too.  Dread has gone.  I get little snippets of thots tho but not much emotion attached to them.  “remember you touched this seat with your pants/sox.  Do you REALLY want to sit there in your freshly cleaned pj’s?”  “shut up”, I tell my mind and sit.   Interesting how I didn’t have a  problem with Dread about TODAY’S laundry, but yesterday’s.  I find this very tiring.  Time for bed, after I do some blog reading.


  1. KEEP IT UP! One of the big things for me is as soon as you make that mental switch from "OMG I can't stand having these thoughts" to "Agh - whatever - the thoughts can be there as long as you need to - I am going on with my life" - you will notice a HUGE change. It's not easy, and depending on the day it is much easier said than done. (Lately I am struggling with it) GREAT WORK KARIN!!!