I meant to tell my husband to put that towel in the dirty laundry before he took his next shower. He broke routine and had one that evening when I was NOT thinking about the mess I created that morning. So after his shower he (naturally) dried himself off using that towel, because he can’t read my mind. I ask him if the above scenario makes him feel dirty after drying off with that towel and he says no. So we discuss it a bit. Then I decide he is right and he is not contaminated so it’s ok to touch him. Then I touch the night light to go to sleep. The next day I am re-concerned about the whole thing, so don’t want to touch the light. I had changed the sheets but didn't clean the light off. I could clean the light but that would be giving in to the ocd.
I decided not to clean the light but for the next few days wouldn’t touch it. So no reading in bed at night L. Finally, last night I decided to go for it. I touched it, and nothing happened- except the light turned on. No bad feelings or emotions ( I guess I already flooded my mind with that over the past few days thinking about touching it , so they were all gone) but – and here’s the pet peeve- NO GREAT FEELING OF EUPHORIA EITHER. After all that mental thought and finally action, I expected some internal choir or clapping or SOMETHING that said whoohoo!!!!!!! Fantastic job!!!!!! Nope, nothing. I touched my book and pencil. Nothing. Well, a bit of insecurity about dirtying up my Harry Potter book, but that went away quickly. All I got was the chance to read my book. Where’s the thrill of doing something hard?? I wasn’t expecting to actually HEAR cheers, although that would have been great too. But no flood of endorphins or feel-great hormones. That’s not fair. There was no guarantee I’d be ok with touching the light. So it was a risk. As risky as jumping off a bridge with a bungee cord.