We looked at the dogs. One of them sort of nipped Katrina while she tried to feed it and she got scared. She likes animals but gets very timid around them. The dogs seemed nice, but not overly affectionate or interested in us. We thot it over and after talking to other people Bruce got cold feet and said no. :(
Now my problem is whether to wear the coat that i wore to touch the dogs with. Everyone else is wearing their coats like nothing was wrong, but even after doing a thot record about it at my weekly group meeting ( where i realized that the dogs didn't smell, so it must be ok) i''m still leary about actually putting the coat back on. So far it's been fairly warm every time I've got out this week so I've been able to get away with just putting on a sweat shirt. But that is just avoidance, and i'm good at that!
It feels like there will be a big irreversable 'change' if I actually wear the coat. Like every place i go with it on will be contaminated. Shakes head. I should just DO IT instead of agonizing what could happen if i do it.
Or if I can't stand the idea, just wash the thing. Either way, I should just make a decision and stick with it. ... Why are decisions like this harder to make than ones that start with: ' will you marry me?'
Karin,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry it didn't work out with the dogs, but maybe a better situation will come along.
Could you use putting on the coat as an exposure? Put it on, wear it a little, then take it off and refocus on something else until the anxiety goes down? And then wash it? I'm not an expert on ERP, so these are just suggestions! :-)
You are so right--decisions about what to do in these OCD situations are way harder than some of the other ones we face! I love your last sentence!
Yes, putting on the coat would be an exposure. I guess if i wore it and went nowhere and then took it off and waited to see the anxiety go down i wouldn't have to worry about contaminating places i wore it to. That's a great idea! Thanks, Tina. i'll do that tomorrow- it's past 11 pm here.
DeleteOh these decisions are very hard! I remember more than once saying to my doc that once I do this or that particular thing, there will be no going back. It's a permanent change.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I can definitely tell you from experience is that the longer you put off dealing with it, the more terrible the anticipatory anxiety will become. I say, why not put on the jacket? I know you can do it even though it's really hard. I'm pretty sure my doc would recommend putting on the jacket and not taking it off until the anxiety has fallen by half. And then keep repeating this process several times a day or for several days in a row until you feel that it doesn't really bother you anymore.
Good luck whatever you decide. I think that it's great that you didn't just automatically wash the jacket!
Sunny you're right. I've put it off so my anxiety has gotten bigger. And boy did i want to just put my coat in the wash. It would have solved everything quickly and by now i could wear it again. But i knew that would be cheating. So now i just look at it as i still don't wear it. But i will tomorrow... just don't look at my fingers crossed behind my back. :)
DeleteJust curious - how's it going with the coat?
Deleteummm, i'm still thinking (or rather, avoiding it). It's been so sunny and warm here the past few days it's easy to tell myself 'i don't need to wear it'. (hangs head ).
DeleteOh don't feel like you have to hang your head! I definitely wasn't asking to make you feel bad. I know this is really HARD stuff. You haven't washed it and that is a victory itself. Be proud of yourself for resisting that urge.
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ReplyDeleteWhen you said:
ReplyDelete"It feels like there will be a big irreversable 'change' if I actually wear the coat. Like every place i go with it on will be contaminated. Shakes head." ....
I had to laugh, for I am the same way! The exact same way! It is so stressful.
I love your humor.